We meet up with Dracula on a windy October day nearing Halloween. He seems a bit shy almost a bit standoffish. We wanted to know why the attitude towards us? Our reporter on the scene Albino Black had to ask the tough question “So why the standoffish vibe Dracula?” He took a minute and paused, thought for a second and replied. “There is a new sauce and it’s killing Vampires. iCizzle’s World Famous Garlic Pepper Soy Sauce.” Dracula is no stranger to garlic epidemics, in fact, in 1883 he said this “No Garlic should ever be allowed to be consumed like iCizzle’s World Famous Garlic Sauce.” That got us thinking, how long Dracula had been fearing this Garlic Sauce and what it would do to the Vampire population?
The effects are in and they would scare even U2! When humans consume Garlic it makes their breath a kind of repellant to Vampires. The breath acts as a acid cloud that when a Vampire comes in contact with it, it will begin to melt. Yes melt and just like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz did to the evil witch so does garlic do to the Vampires. An angry Vampire Mom was not happy with iCizzle’s Garlic Sauce “It must be stopped!” She pleaded with us saying “The children are melting from humans eating so much of it.” She’s right according to a report the world famous garlic sauce has sold over $1,000,000 since 1883.
But what does it all mean? We wanted to talk to humans who have been enjoying the sauce. Bree, a private dancer told us that “I gave a lap dance to a Vampire after eating iCizzle’s Garlic Soy Sauce with some french fries and a coke. “He just started melting as I was dancing on him.” A tragic way to end ones life. But again what does it all mean? It means we need to be careful about being around Vampires and enjoying iCizzle’s World Famous Garlic Pepper Soy Sauce. The effects of melting have been seen by many and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.